He's Okay....

Granted I am still new to this Army life as my husband has only been gone 5 weeks (I say only because I know it isn't that long, until someone you love is in BCT and almost all communication is cut off). I am just one Army wife so you can take these posts with a grain of salt if you would like, but this blog is based on my individual experiences and feelings, keep that in mind!

I know it is so hard to be without your husband, to wait and wait for letters and receive very few because they are so busy by the time they are done training they are too tired to even pick up that pen and write their loved ones a letter. It's even harder to carry your phone with you EVERYWHERE you go and yet your phone doesn't ring or if it does it's someone stupid like a telemarketer. You hear that phone ring and get so excited even though you don't recognize the number you hope it's your husband calling from another soldier's phone and then when you answer it and don't hear his voice on the other end, your heart breaks a little. I also know what it is like to constantly worry that they are okay. By nature I worry so him being gone has been so hard. When he got on the plane and was hours before he called I was thinking, "OMG I hope he is okay and his plane didn't crash"! Yes, I worry that much!!!!! But here is the thing, although it is natural to worry and to wonder is he okay? Is he getting enough sleep? Is he eating? Is he losing weight? Can he really do this? Is he physically and mentally strong to handle basic combat training? You have to remember he is okay and he can do this because he is ARMY STRONG!!! Yes, he is probably more exhausted physically and mentally than he has ever been in his life, but this experience will make him stronger and teach him things like how to be respectful, how to handle tough situations, and how to become a solider. Although, at first he may hate it and may wonder if he really has what it takes, and if he is strong enough to handle this, don't worry HE CAN DO IT. At first he will be exhausted and that may last throughout his whole training, he maybe be broken inside and as his wife that will break your heart too. But he knew what he was signing up for but they don't really realize what they are getting themselves into until they are finally there. You have to know that although the army will break them down, they will also build them up and make them better and stronger men in the process. When my husband left for BCT he said to me, "I won't be the same person when I come back!" And he is right he won't we will be more disciplined and stronger and I look forward to all the stories he will tell me about his training and the bonds he made with fellow soldiers :)

But here is the thing....although it's natural to worry you have to remember that they are okay even if you don't get very many phone calls, or letters or pictures...THEY ARE OKAY!!!! You have to have not only FAITH in them but also the Army to train them and turn them into soldiers. They are going to do things that worry us like climbing the Eagle Tower, or going in the gas chamber or using a real gun but as long as they listen to the DS's and do as they are told they aren't in any real danger. I see mothers and wives constantly worried about their SIT (Soldier in Training) and you have to know he is okay and be strong for him. He isn't the only one who is changed by this experience you are too! You are not only his wife but his cheerleader too! You have to constantly tell him he can do this and that you are proud of him, he needs to know he has your support. This isn't an easy time for them and sometimes they aren't emotionally strong so we have to be strong for them even when we feel weak!

They may have to climb the Eagle Tower even though they are afraid of heights. They might have to sleep outside when it's cold with snow or ice on the ground (as the south this year has had some crazy weather). They are cut off from all communication from the outside world and all those they love, this is why your letters are so important to them. They might have to eat food that is gross, they may even get slightly injured but YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!! THEY WILL SURVIVE!!!! Because they really don't have any other choice. When you receive that first letter they may tell you they are having mixed feelings or don't think they can do this. When you receive that first phone call they may sound awful from all the shots, sleep deprivation, and may even be sick but you can't being weak, this is when they need you to be strong for the both of you! This experience will not only make him army strong, but will make you army strong as well!

What I am trying to say (painfully slow apparently) is even though it's hard to see now he CAN and WILL do this, and YOU will too! The army will not put him in harm's way, they are there to train them not to hurt them. And this is only the beginning because one day they may have to deploy and they may be in real danger because rest assure he is in BCT right now to train him and to teach him how to stay safe and how to keep his fellow soldiers safe! Stay strong, do not fall apart because this is just the beginning and the fear, the worry, the heartache will only multiply as he leaves BCT and becomes a soldier. You have to be strong and in a way you never have been before, but YOU can do this and so can HE! Army is not for the faint of heart and not everyone can do it, but I believe you can and will!

Remember this is what he wants to do, and he can do it and he will be transformed into a beautiful solider (I know my husband says men can't be beautiful but I don't always listen to him and this we do not agree on).

Remember the Soldier's creed this is who your husband is now and although it is scary it's amazing the pride you feel for your husband because you realize he is stronger than you ever realized!!!!

I am an American soldier.

I am a warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American soldier.

I don't know about you but reading that gives me chills, fills me with immense pride and I am confident that my husband is ARMY STRONG and he can do this because the Army is teaching him how to become and live the soldier life. Try not to worry too much and know he is okay. I know it isn't easy but everything he is going through is making him stronger and you too!!!

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU ARE ARMY STRONG!!!!!!

The Waiting Game....

I have never been a patient person, I blame my mother! I must have learned it from her right? I hate waiting in lines, hate waiting for my food to finish cooking, and hate waiting for everything I guess. No surprise most people hate waiting that is why we have more people sending e-mails than snail mail, why microwaves were invented, and why we can use our phones like a computer, would hate to wait until we got home to read all our Facebook notifications (which usually is 2 instead of the 20 we are hoping for).

You never realize how much you will play the waiting game or how patient you will have to become until you are married to a man in the military. Now my life seems to be a consist game of waiting. Waiting for a phone call from my husband and being disappointed every time the phone rings and it isn't him. If you aren't my husband don't call me LOL! Waiting for letters in my mailbox. I think the mailman might have put a restraining order on me. Don't worry I'm not crazy or dangerous just waiting for those letters from my solider, because they make me feel connected to him and really make my WHOLE day! But when I hope for letters and don't get them it seems to ruin my whole day. Like seriously, why don't I have dozens of letters everyday waiting in my mailbox? Oh wait...that's right he is busy learning how to become the best soldier he can. Okay fine so maybe I don't get a lot of letters but if I get 1-2 a week I am a happy army wife!

But it isn't just the calls or letters you are constantly waiting for. It's the pictures too. I get the Drill Sargent are busy training our men but seriously would it kill you snap a few shots, and by that I mean ones of my husband and if it isn't too much to ask the zoom button is your friend and most importantly mine! Next time you have that camera in your hand and your subject is my sexy camo wearing husband just say, "HEY BOGLE! LOOK UP!!!! Okay, obviously I am living in a dream world because although the Army says family is important they really could care less if I am anxiously waiting for pictures, or if I am missing my husband harder than I ever have in my life. My feelings don't even enter into the equation because they are trying to keep my solider safe by training him the right way to do things, and that is more important than my feelings. So Army I will let you being insensitive to my feelings! When I see a picture of my husband I can't even put into words the immense pride I feel, but when I find a picture of him that is far away or just isn't of good quality, or worse yet don't find any of him at all, my heart breaks because I can't see my solider and those pictures are another way to feel connected to him! So boys, keep those pictures coming!!!!

When you are an army wife it seems like all you do is wait and playing this waiting game is no where on my list of fun things to do. But wait we must and to be honest as much as it sucks waiting all the time in the end it is worth it. Every time he calls (although the calls rarely come), every letter I receive and I get to know what is going on with him and receive little love notes, and every picture I find...I treasure them all. Waiting is never fun especially when you are waiting for any communication from your solider but HE IS WORTH WAITING FOR!!!! So let the waiting games continue...for at least another three months and I'm sure there will be more waiting throughout his military career. If you are a new army wife like I am you will wait and wait and wait some more but it makes you treasure your husband, the love you have for him, and the love between a woman and a soldier is one full of waiting, disappointment, but it's also one of the most beautiful loves because your love is always worth the wait!!!!

Remember the Army loves to make you wait. I guess that's where the phase "hurry up and wait" came from. I think it's the Army's motto! So if you need me I will be here just waiting, and waiting, oh and waiting some more!

A New Life...Becoming an Army Wife....

I am an Army wife. My husband recently left for BCT (Basic Combat Training) to follow his dream of becoming a soldier. He researched as much as he could about what he would go through in the next 4 months. How hard they would work him, how they would break him down and build him back up. The army would teach him how to not to just be strong but Army strong. He will have to endure early mornings, physical strain on his body and mind that he has never experienced before. He will be yelled at and treated like he is nothing by drill sargents, he will learn how to depend on his fellow SIT's (Solders in Training) and learn how to be a team player like no other job has even taught him. He will be physically and mentally exhausted every day and will be cut off from everything he once knew, and will miss his family more than he ever realized. At times he will feel like he cant go on another day but his strength will carry him through because this is his dream and even when he has doubt he knows he can and will become a soldier of the United States Army. I can only imagine how hard BCT is and will continue to be for him.

But for me, his wife I have my own struggles of my husband being gone. When your husband is gone especially in BCT you have to rely on yourself, you can't rely on your husband like you always have in the past. My husband needs to focus on his training and cannot be stressed by what is happening at home. He needs to remain focused on his training so if the day comes when he has to go to war and fight for our country, he will be well trained and learn how to not only keep himself safe, but also his fellow comrades. So now it is my job to make sure our home runs smoothly, to make sure the kids are taken care of, and to handle everything on my own. Being an Army wife means learning to be independent! It means if the sink is clogged, the hot water heater breaks, or one of my children gets injured it is ME who has to know what to do. I have almost no contact with my husband and when I do write to him or hear his voice on the phone for those brief few minutes I have to be his strong soldier. I tell him we miss him and how proud we are of him but I do not tell him anything that could worry him, because he doesn't need anything else to worry about! With him gone I am now the Mother who does everything. I can't say ugh I don't feel like cooking, baby can you make dinner tonight? I cannot rely on him to help clean the house when I am exhausted because he isn't here. But being an army wife is more than just being the one who does everything. The army wife is also the one who misses her husband more than she ever has, the one who goes to bed alone, wakes up alone, and lives her life without the man she loves. I no longer can look forward to hearing all about my husbands day or crawling into bed with him and watching a movie. Instead I look forward to phone calls even if they only last a few minutes and I now stalk the mail man because letters are really the only way I can stay connected to my husband.